Weigh in Thursday and Psychiatrist appointment

I saw the psychiatrist for my evaluation this past Tuesday, I'll be honest I was worried about the appointment, but it went fine.  I think maybe in the back of my mind I was thinking she was going to try and fish for some deep seated psych issues related to my food intake, weight issues, and yo-yo dieting, and maybe try to find a way to say I didn't qualify for surgery because I was a total head case or something.  Dumb, I know.  I think I was worried she wasn't on my side and that this might be a huge stumbling block in my journey but that wasn't the case at all.  The appointment was actually fine, she was very nice and very easy to talk to.  We talked about my health and dieting history and problems that may arise with the rapid body change after surgery along with coping mechanisms.  She talked to me about my support system, my job and other aspects of my life.  I did ask her her thoughts on continuing therapy after surgery and she said it is up to each individual person as to whether they want to or not.  She said sometimes she sees people who need therapy before surgery but that wasn't the case with me.  She gave me clearance for surgery and said she would see me again in March before my surgery in April.  I am doing the happy dance that yet another appointment is checked off my list.  It looks like I have my February and March weigh ins, and then appointments right before surgery with my surgeon, the dietician, and the psychologist.  I emailed my surgeon's nurse who is the care coordinator for the program and asked when I would get an official surgery date and she said she could get me one any time.  So I am patiently waiting for that email.  I am hoping I can do my 2 week liquid diet the last two weeks of March and have surgery April 1st but I'm not sure that will work out for them.  I'll post when I find something out.  I am excited and nervous.  I want to do it right now and not have wait, and then again I want it to be 2 months from now so I have that time to continue to prepare.  I am just ready to do this and continue on towards finding the healthy, thinner girl that is trapped under this big layer of fat.  2013 will be my year!!!!

My weigh in today showed I was down another 1.2# for a total of 7.8# down so far.  I guess that will be my pattern, slow (very slow) and steady.  I certainly don't take weight off at a very fast rate that is for sure.  I find myself getting frustrated but I need to just chill out and appreciate the progress I am making right now.  So far I have stayed within my goal of taking off 1-2 pounds per week.

I do think that around mid-February I am going to start doing the 17 day diet.  The diet is basically a high protein, low carb diet, and I think it will help me get used to eating more protein and way less carbs, which is what I will need to do after surgery.  I also need to try out some of the samples of protein shakes I picked up.  I am still really nervous about doing the 2 week pre-op liquid protein diet, I hope I can stick with it.  It's one thing to be on a liquid diet when you are post-op and your stomach pouch holds an ounce or two, and it's entirely another to be on a liquid diet when your stomach is normal sized.  I expect to be starving and I know I will need to be strong.

One other exciting development is that I am completely done drinking diet sodas.  My first goal was to stop diet sodas which I have done, yay!  I knew in doing that I wanted to increase my water intake, which I have also done, yay!.  However, when I started drinking more water I also started using those sugar free mix in flavorings for water, and that seems like a lot of artificial sweetener to me.  Yeah, I know my diet soda addiction put tons of artificial sweetener in my bod too, but I want to get healthier in every aspect of my life if I am doing this surgery, but I digress, so now my goal is to not rely on the sugar free mix-in packets in the water all the time, I want to cut back.  Personally, I think that is too much artificial sweetener in one day.  So my next goal is to have maybe one 32 oz water bottle per day with a mix in flavor and one bottle per day with just plain ice water.  That is my goal to accomplish over the next month or so.  My final goal is going to be to cut further back on caffeine overall.  I still have a cup of coffee (OK two cups) of coffee most mornings, and I work three 12 hour night shifts per week so I drink a coffee at the beginning of my shift and something with caffeine mid-way through my shift, whether it's coffee or a sugar free water flavoring with caffeine ( I was shocked to see how much caffeine the sugar free energy water flavorings have, way more than coffee or soda).  I plan on cutting back to one cup of coffee in the mornings and one at the start of my shift when I work, and if I absolutely need some caffeine mid night shift I will have something, if not, great.  I don't think I will entirely stop caffeine and my surgeon said a little is ok, so I'm sure I will keep having some, but I know I can cut way back on it as well as the mix-ins with the artificial sweetener.

That is all I have for now.  I will write a new post as soon as I find out more about my surgery date.
Until next time!!  :)

EEEK!! Dirty Girl

I just registered for the Dirty Girl Mud Run in August.  I was chatting with a good friend of mine on facebook and we decided to bite the bullet and just do it, so we both signed up.  The run is in mid-August so that should give me plenty of time to be prepared.  This friend and I did our first 5K together a couple of years ago (obviously I have back slid with my weight gain and lack of exercise since then),  I know we will keep one another motivated to get ready for it.  2013 is going to be MY year, a year of changes, a year of health, and I year where I can RUN!!

http://www.godirtygirl.com/

Weigh in Thursday and Pulmonology appointment

I weighed in today and I was down another pound.  I am happy with that.  As I have said I will be happy with losing 1-2 pounds per week until I have surgery.  I am going to be honest my food choices on some of the days last week were not the greatest.  On a better note, I got my gym membership yesterday and I am planning on going today.  It has been so long since I have done any exercise besides walking that I  know I will need to take it slow in the beginning.  I am going to go today to walk on the treadmill and do some of the weight machines for arms and legs.  I asked whether or not they have a personal trainer in the gym and they do, so I will probably email him and get his thoughts on what I should do now until surgery and then I will probably pay for him to work with me after my surgery.   I really want to stay on track and progress to running as I am hoping to do.  Maybe even a 5K this summer???  Who knows.

I saw the pulmonologist earlier this week to have pulmonary function tests and discuss my home sleep study results.  My pulmonary function tests were fine and he cleared me for surgery.  His other concern was the home sleep study showed some mild sleep apnea and he thought I should possibly have a regular sleep study done.  When I told him I had a sleep study done in 2004 and I was at the same weight and it showed I didn't need cpap, he said he would get the results and determine off of those results whether or not I needed to have another sleep study done.  His office called back that same afternoon, they had already gotten the results and he said I was fine to not have a sleep study prior to surgery.  I am happy about that!!  He was a really nice doctor and he said he would let my surgeon know I was clear for surgery.  Another thing checked off my list!!  Happy Dance!!  :)

My husband is going to get weight loss surgery too, but a new, better job prospect came up and if it is offered to him he is going to take it.  In that case he would wait until next year to have his surgery, once he is at his job a year.  We'll see how that all pans out.

I have been doing a lot of thinking about whether or not to see a therapist after having this gastric bypass and I've waffled as to whether I need to or not.  It is tough for me to admit that maybe I will need help to deal with the rapid changes my body will be going through and what my new relationship to food will need to be.  I have decided that I will talk to the psychiatrist about it when I see her next week, see what her opinion is and what she sees other patients doing.  I have pretty much decided I would like the names of some therapists closer to home that I could work with after surgery.  I do plan on attending the monthly support meetings at my hospital as well.  I guess it won't hurt to go to therapy and in the end it will only be for the better.  I guess I have always seen myself as a strong person who can handle things myself, but I really want this surgery and my new life/lifestyle after surgery to be successful and I will do whatever it takes.

So my weigh in today showed a loss of another pound for a total of 6.6 pounds down so far.  My goal is to be at 240# when I go into surgery, so that means I have to lose another 18.6 pounds before then.  I think that is totally doable, especially with the 2 week liquid diet pre-op.

I will update again after my appointment with the psychiatrist next week.

Weigh in Thursday

I did my Thursday weigh in today.  This is the weight I will be using on this blog to track my progress.  The day of my surgery, when that comes about, the weight they get at the hospital will be used at my surgery starting weight but then I will track my progress from my home weigh ins.

So...today my weight was 259.6 which puts me at a 1.4# weight loss for the week a total loss of 5.6# so far.  I am good with a weight loss of 1-2# per week from now until surgery.

Next week Tuesday morning I see the pulomonologist.  I will have pulmonary function tests and a visit with him.  I did a mini sleep study at home that involved putting something that looks like a nasal cannula for oxygen in my nose and a pulse ox monitor on my finger and it recorded if I was having any sleep apnea.  Based on the results of that I needed to see the pulmonologist.  It looked like I was right on the border of needed to see the pulmonologist based on the result sheet they sent me.  I hope they don't want to do a big sleep study, I don't want to mess with that and then have to get a cpap machine. I know that sounds bad, but if I am going to be losing a bunch of weight soon and end up not needing the machine,  which will more than likely happen, I don't really want to mess with the testing and the added expense.  I know I woke up once during the home test and I had take the tubing out of my nose,  I'm not sure how that effected the results, but anyway, I'll see what he has to say.

Until next time...

First Insurance Weigh In

I had my first of three monthly weigh ins at my surgeon's office today.  I am required by my insurance to follow a medically supervised diet and weigh in for three months before they approve surgery.  Basically I go weigh in with the nurse, she talks to me about what I have been doing to lose weight, checks my vital signs, and goes over my meds and supplements, labwork, tests, and things that will be coming up.  I will be on a strict liquid protein diet for 2 weeks before my surgery, I am dreading that already, not because I'm unwilling to do it but because I am afraid I won't be able to stick to it.  Willpower isn't my strong suit.  I did find out I don't have to do a bowel prep the night before surgery.  I am doing a happy dance about that.  That is one of the benefits of having to do the liquid diet 2 weeks ahead of time, there isn't much left in there to have to clean out.

According to the doctors scale I was down almost 5# from my initial weigh in with them.  That sounds pretty close to the loss I have been seeing, I was down a little over 4# when I weighed in at home last Thursday.  The nurse was pleased with my loss and she handed me this big wad of rubbery stuff that is supposed to look like body fat and it weighed 5#.  I couldn't even believe it!  5# doesn't seem like much to lose until  I picked up that blob of fat and realized I wasn't carrying that around on my body anymore.  It was quite enlightening.  I am just going to document my Thursday home weigh ins in my blog, there are just too many numbers floating around out there for me to keep straight, and I will be better able to keep a handle on it if I concentrate on the numbers I am seeing.

My diet right now has just been focusing on reducing calories and that is fine for now, but I want to work on increasing my protein and cutting way back on carbs.  That will be coming soon.  The nurse also recommended that I start trying various protein shakes to see what I like for when I have to be on them for 2 weeks.  I don't want to stock up like crazy because, I have read on forums, and seen on videos on you tube that many times tastes change after surgery and just because I like a particular protein shake or drink now, I may not be able to stand it after surgery.

Sometimes it feels like my head is swimming with all of this information and keeping appointments straight and all of the other requirements, along with feeling nervous for the surgery itself.  I know I have made the right decision and I am not questioning that decision at all but having surgery, any type of surgery, I don't care what it is still makes me nervous.  Sometimes I don't like being a nurse, I have seen and heard too much about things that can go wrong.  I am sure everything will be fine, but I think everyone has those little fears in the back of their mind.  I am still avoiding telling most people about the surgery and for now that is fine, I don't feel like justifying my choice to do this to anyone right now.  I have heard everything from don't you just want to watch what you eat and exercise more, to having to listen to horror stories about surgeries gone bad, to comments along the lines of, well if you do this you need to change the way you eat forever.  My response to that is...staying obese will cause me to have to change the way I eat forever, too, when I develop diabetes.

I have also decided I am going to have the surgeon take out my gallbladder while he's in there.  If there is a 3 cm stone in there it is only a matter of time until it causes problems and more stones are highly likely to develop when I am losing weight rapidly.  Better to just do it at the time of surgery rather than have to go back in for another surgery.

Anyway...whew...that was alot.
I will post my weight on Thursday after I weigh in.
Until next time.

Gallstone

My surgeon's office let me know that my gallbladder ultrasound showed a 3 cm stone.  The nurse said that was a rather large stone and she was wondering if I had been having any pain or feeling sick related to it.  Honestly, it hasn't been that bad, I can remember maybe 2 or 3 nights in the last 6 months or so where I had pain and felt sick for the evening after eating a greasier meal.  I never ended up in the ER or even at my doctor's office, just felt miserable for the night and the next day it was better.  I asked if most people with stones had their gallbladders out while the surgeon was in there anyway, it makes sense to do it.   I am leaning towards having him take it out.  Odds are I am going to develop more stones as I lose weight and there will have to be another surgery to take the gallbladder out, it's highly likely, so why not just yank it while you're in there doc!!  I haven't heard back from the nurse as to whether or not the surgeon would agree to do it or not.  Hopefully they will just take it out.  I am already going to be off work for the gastric bypass, I'd hate to have to take off again a year or so later for gallbladder surgery.

Tomorrow is the first of my three monthly weigh ins at the surgeon's office as part of the medically supervised diet required by my insurance.  I hope their scale will show the 4 pound loss my scale showed last Thursday when I weighed in (or more)   :)

I am going to go get a gym membership next week and start working out there now, before I even have the surgery.  I know there will be a time post-op that I will have to take it easy but if I work on getting in better shape now maybe my recovery will be faster.  They just moved the Snap fitness in our town to a strip mall that is literally within walking distance of my house.  I've gone there before when they were in their old building and I really liked it.  I hope to be able to afford a personal trainer after I recover from my surgery even if I only see the trainer twice a month I think it will help keep me on track and give me a more solid plan to follow.  I guess I will need to wait and see how that pans out.

I will post tomorrow how my weigh in goes at the surgeon's office.

Gallbladder Ultrasound and Weigh In

Today I went to the hospital for my gallbladder ultrasound, I wasn't sure what to expect but it really wasn't a big deal.  I had to have a non-fat supper last night and nothing to eat or drink after midnight, kind of like what you do to have fasting labwork except for the non-fat supper.  I cheated and had a couple ounces of baked chicken breast for supper last night but everything else was non-fat.  The ultrasound itself was no big deal, it was alot like getting a prenatal ultrasound, minus the baby...ha!  I had to take a breath and hold it quite a number of times because that draws the diaphragm up and brings the organs out so she can scan them.  She looked at my liver, gallbladder and the vessels and ducts around them.  All in all I think it took like 20-25 minutes.  Not bad at all.

Thursdays are going to be my weekly weigh in days, so even though I just started dieting on Sunday I wanted to get into the pattern of Thursday weigh ins.  So here we go...On Sunday I was 265.2 and today I weighed an even 261, so I lost a total of 4.2 pounds.  Not too bad.  I know the weight comes off easily the first couple of weeks and I fully expect things to slow way down after that, that is my usual pattern, but my goal is to get down to 240 pounds before surgery.  That mean before my surgery in April I would like to lose another 21 pounds.  I think I can do it!

One other thing I was thinking about, and I'm not sure about this yet.  I was kind of thinking of saying "good-bye" to some favorite eating establishments.  I know gastric bypass will bring about a life change that will be something I follow for the rest of my life, and I know eventually I will learn to eat out again and make healthy choices, but I'd kind of like to pick one place per week and have lunch one last time.  I don't mean I want to go gorge myself at a buffet or order 2 large value meals somewhere, just a nice simple lunch having some of my favorites.  I know that probably sounds like  I have some unresolved food issues I need to deal with but really it is just something I want to do for some closure.  I thinking going somewhere to eat one last time knowing I may never be able to eat the greasy burger or Chinese buffet again and saying goodbye might be a ritual that will help me.  I don't intend to gorge myself and gain weight before surgery, like it's a last ditch feeding frenzy, but one lunch per week while still working on losing weight seems like the ticket for me.  I can mentally prepare myself knowing that that lunch will be the last one of that type forever and I can savor each bite.  I am not trying to say I will never be able to eat out again, I know I can eventually, after the surgery, just not the way I am used to.

Next week I have my first weigh in at my surgeon's office, other than that nothing major.  I have an appointment with the pulmonologist the following week and the psychiatrist the last week of January.  I am really checking things off my list!!

Until next time!!

First weigh in...

...and it ain't purdy!!

Today I am starting my diet.  I am hoping to lose about 25 pounds prior to having gastric bypass.  I stepped on the new scale I bought yesterday AND...265.2.  I am so disappointed and ashamed, I can't believe I let it get this bad!  BUT, I need to put my head up and realize this is the starting point, the starting gun is about to go off and I need to lace up my running shoes and get prepared for one of the biggest races of my life, the race to better health.  I am scared and excited and really, really ready to do this.

Despite my excitement about this new lifestyle and my journey toward health, I am feeling like quite the bitch today, yes I am being bitchy, no doubt about that.  I am snapping at my family and just feel crabby.  I started cutting back on my caffeine last week and I think that might be part of it, or maybe subconsciously I know I am saying goodbye to my old friend food and the relationship I used to have with it.  I had a killer headache yesterday from caffeine withdrawal so I did have some diet coke yesterday, so far today no caffeine and no headache so that's good.  I have to nap this afternoon because I work a 12 hour night shift tonight and I will have some caffeine tonight to make it through the night.  I hate working night shift!

I just want to say a quick bit about green smoothies.  If you have never had one you have to try one!!  I made one for breakfast this morning and it had oranges, peaches, kiwi, banana, coconut milk, and spinach.  It is really good and you can't even taste the spinach.  Even my kids will drink it.  It looks terrible but tastes good!!  I know I can't have all that fruit after surgery but for now I will use it to boost my health and lose some weight.

Officially my weight ins are going to be Thursday mornings but I wanted this starting weight and my measurements to be documented.  I will be weighing in again on Thursday.

OK ...off to sleep I go! 

Is it because I'm a vampire???

Or I keep the hours of a vampire anyway...

I got a call a few days ago from my surgeon's office that one of the results from my labs showed that my vitamin D level was low and and I needed to start taking 5000 iu of vitamin  D daily for one month and then go down to 2000 iu for the next month.  I rarely see the light of day, seriously.  I work night shift and sleep during the day, Wisconsin in the winter is gloomy more than it is sunny.  It is dark when I drive to work, and the sun, if it is going to be a sunny day, is barely making an appearance on my drive home from work in the morning,  then I sleep during the few daylight hours we have.  I could get some sun on my days off but it's snowy and cold and not generally nice to be outside.  January in Wisconsin sucks!!!  Wow that does sound depressing, it really isn't THAT bad and it's nice to have 4 seasons here, I just wish winter didn't last so long.

My other lab work for the most part was fine, my HDL was a little low but that should improve as I start exercising more.

Tomorrow I am going to start my diet in hopes to take off some weight before surgery.  I double checked with my surgeon's nurse and she assured me that the insurance company wouldn't deny me having the surgery if I lose weight pre-op.  Basically they look at my weight history and the initial weight logged when I first met with the surgeon.  I will post tomorrow with the weight and my eating plans for the day.  I bought a new scale that not only does weight but also body fat percentage and BMI.

I have slowly been buying some supplies for after the surgery.  Tiny little bowls and plates, little ramekins and all sorts of measuring devices.  I was at the dollar store and bought baby spoons and a sippie cup today...no lie!!  I will do a post some time in the future with everything I have purchased for use after I have my gastric bypass.  I have been reading many forums, blogs, and also watching you tube videos to gather information.  There is a wealth of information out there, search it out if you have the time and inclination.

This week Thursday I have my gallbladder ultrasound, that should be interesting.  I have never had problems with my gallbladder so I hope everything is fine.

Until tomorrow, when I post my dreaded weight!!  :(